The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, by Mark Twain, was the first published novel ever to have been written on a typewriter.

M. R. Bissell had a china shop in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and was allergic to the dusty straw scattered on the floor after unpacking china from crates. So, he invented the first carpet sweeper in 1876 to clean up the mess and protect his sinuses.

In 1949, Crusader Rabbit debuted as the first made-for-TV animated cartoon.

Kangaroos can move as fast as 30 miles per hour and can leap up to 25 feet in the air...just saying.

WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning

Wonders why people always try to get cats out of trees... How many cat skeletons have you seen in trees?

says eleventeen percent of people make up words

wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.

The police sent me a photo of my car speeding, so I sent them a picture of my check.

wants to switch the "pull" sign on the door to a "push" sign, then sit back and enjoy the show...

wonders if you called the people that signed your yearbook 20 years ago "I'll always be there for you" and asked them to babysit tonight, would they?

Why does everyone always say "Take it one day at a time."? Like two is an option?

If the shampoo instructions tell you to repeat, how do you know when to stop?

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knows why the chicken crossed the road, it was to show the raccoon, opossum and armadillo it could be done without getting run over!!

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield

says says: Beware of natural foods: 80% of people die of natural causes

Did you hear? Due to total and complete lack of interest, Monday has been canceled!!!

wonders who criminals root for when they watch cop shows?

says it's okay to talk to yourself. Sometimes it's the only way to have an intelligent conversation with someone.

Never let a computer know you are in a hurry.